I've been trying to stay afloat out of everything, but I'm losing it. Things are so different now and it scares me. Nothing I do seems right, nothing I do is what I expect. It's out of my range and I can't predict anything. I've stopped crying because breaking down is not the solution. My face is so easy to read sometimes, and I half wished I could hide my feelings better. It's not like I don't want to talk about it. It just makes things worse.

School has been slightly bearable. Maybe because I've learnt to switch off at the right time. It's like I need this immunity coat with me so I don't get hurt. School is painful sometimes. And no I didn't say it was bearable anymore.

I'm constantly failing at everything. All the time.